| sorry |
[Apr. 28th, 2009|10:10 pm] |
for my emotional posts, all the time.
i have swine flu!
jk!
but i am 2 days sober.
no ciggarettes, no drugs, no drankz. (cause i drink on weekdays). that's a joke.
I need to last. I need to detox. my body hates me right now and I hate my body right now.
brb, learning from my mistakes. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 16th, 2009|09:51 pm] |
i hate 98% of my friends.
actually I hate 100% of my friends.
selfish fucking users. I hate this city. I'm not even excited for Britney Spears.
what the fuck |
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| top secret |
[Feb. 10th, 2009|12:26 am] |
so secret I won't even say it out loud.
! |
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| when life gives you lemons |
[Dec. 18th, 2008|12:58 am] |
hey, its me. I am very overwhelmed with emotion to see that you're online! I can't believe everything that has and hasn't happened these past +1 year(s). There isn't a day that goes by that I haven't thought about you, or wished I could take back the mistakes I made and the impressions I've given you about my character. I want you to know that you've changed my life for the better and for worse, and I will always be waiting for you... for the rest of my life. and if that's never, just know you've got a friend in me. I hope you and your family are all healthy and loving life. :). love always, nicole. ps- I passed my license test.
(in our case,) you make mike's hard lemonade. |
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| day one |
[Dec. 14th, 2008|02:37 pm] |
so I decided I will turn my lj into a not so annonomous post secret.
whenever I tell people I can't hangout because I'm doing homework/apps, I'm really watching gossip girl.
I love when I buy stuff from the flea market and it doesn't fit!
wake up call? |
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| these states make me feel united |
[Nov. 5th, 2008|01:53 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  pleased | ] |
reading the book Night has made me realize, srsly how far have we come?
history repeats itself. Don't let me down Barack, I love you so.
Ps- America I totally doubted your intelligence for a second there, but thank you for reassuring me that I can trust you. |
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| brb, i swallowed a frog. |
[Oct. 13th, 2008|06:13 pm] |
XXXXX
that makes me angry
XXXXX
whatever, you should tell everyone about what he did to natalie's face
XXXXX
then he'll shut up
although i'm quarentined to my bed, i feel better.
i love good people. they're out there, just hard to find.
airbourne x32 |
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| no! |
[Oct. 13th, 2008|12:00 am] |
a certain someone told all the employees at baskin robbins that I only applied for the job because I like/d him.
NOT TRUE!!!!
i am so betrayed. I feel so stupid and used. I broke my own trust rules and now i'm being punished.(meaning i don't tell anyone anything that I wouldn't want anyone else to hear) and its not even that I told everyone I liked him. That's not it at all. This was fucking freshman year btw, and also we recently became very close and I opened up a lot to him, things I wouldn't some lowlife like him to know. i'm going back to being a hermit because i didn't have to deal with fucking petty shit like this.
I don't like you anymore, and if I did it was for 12 seconds because I tried telling myself that so I could stop thinking about jake.
i'm so confused with my life. I wish I could sleep forever.
everyone ruins everything. |
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| times were good |
[Oct. 3rd, 2008|12:29 am] |
and they are a changin'.
lol
there is so much more, but i feel like jason sinay provides closure.
photobucket is so good to me |
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| outta cape cod tonight |
[Sep. 22nd, 2008|11:05 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  worried | ] |
I wonder what I could write in my college essays if my dad didn't die.
what if my parents just got a divorce? and they lived in two separate houses and had separate spouses?
things could be really different.
strange.
its also really strange that a lot of my friends never met my dad.
^ that's the most strange.
someone who makes me half of who I am.
erie br0.
don't talk to me about college unless you want me to projectile vomit all over your face.
love,
nicole |
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| srsly? |
[Sep. 15th, 2008|08:52 pm] |
our world as we know it is melting off planet Earth.
someone talk to me. I have a lot to say.
I love you all, always. |
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| Pewp. |
[Sep. 8th, 2008|11:45 pm] |
ok. seriously?
*mumbles*
"this flavor makes you go to the restroom" -man who cleans the windows.
"what?" -me
"makes you go to the bathroom, this flavor." -man
"huh?" -me
"when you eat this flavor, does your body like that. makes you go to the bathroom." -man
*uncomfortable glare of confusion.*
"I wouldn't know. I don't eat it." -me.
ok. did the man that frequently cleans the windows really just try and talk to me about my bowl movements? I am so beyond being grossed out. How in anyway is that just casual conversation? Oh yah, this one rly makes my shit runny. this one makes it green. and this one backs me up for days.
psychos.
on a lighter note, I got to serve jodie foster tonight, and her kiddles.
Other celebs I've helped grow sideways:
1. Diane Keaton
2. Dr. Rey's wife from Dr. 90210
3. Brecken Myer
yay!
there are simply not enough hours in a day. someone do my wurk 4 me plz. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 4th, 2008|08:30 pm] |
ok, if I don't ever see you again, or the light of day for that matter; see below.
1: probability and statistics (starts at 7:20)
2: government
3: health
4: english
5: chemistry (ohmagah)
6. french
7. ad. photo
+work. +apps. +visits. +SAT.
see you in february. |
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| employed |
[Aug. 28th, 2008|12:23 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | busy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | In the Aeroplane Over the Sea- Neutral Milk Hotel | ] |
uhm, i got a job. i got two jobs for that matter. the first is a volenteer job at Our House (a greiving center). After going through the program myself and finishing, I realized I didn't want to leave. It is a huge part of my life and something I deal with every day. I am like a recovering addict....except not. hah. anyways I work with little kiddies that have lost a parent. they are all around 6th grade age... I think that's 11? or 12? but going from working with stable young kids at a day camp, like i did earlier this summer, to kids that are emotionally damaged, it was hard. but I'm glad I can be there, as their "teen leader." as creepy/annoying as that sounds. I hope I can do some good for them. they need it. poor babies.
and my second job is at baskin robbins! a bunch of people i know work there and so i figured i would just fill out an application... dgaf. anyways, they just told me to leave my number and they called me! I didn't even have to fill out an application (which is good, considering I don't know my social security number). so I am hired and have worked a little over a week. did you know there are techniques to scooping ice cream and I'm a natural? how sad. I'm lactose intolerant, btw. my coworkers (aka beverly kids) and my boss were shocked when I told them that. Also I really was never much of an ice cream eatter. I like a taste but an entire scoop or two or THREE, is too much. plus, baskin's flavors are not really my type. EXCEPT FOR HEATH BAR. EVERYONE SHOULD GO TO A BASKIN ROBBINS RIGHT NOW AND BUY A HANDPACKED QUART. its sent from the gods. so perfect. perfect amount of vanilla, carmel, and other beautious things.
........anyways, I like my job as baskin robbins. I really like all my coworkers, and alex especially; who gives me a new pet name everytime he needs my help. its funny. everyone is nice. customers are silly and amusing and makes it go by faster.
all and all things have been okay lately. I miss my babies that left/are leaving, but luckily with all this work I won't have time for much of anything! :) This year is going to be weird.
I leave you with this note: Why do people give me a guilty smile when they're ordering things like brownie sundaes or banana royals.... if I smile back will that mean there are less calories? |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 5th, 2008|01:15 am] |
today I learned something so fucking important. You can bullshit yourself out of anything if you're confident.
god dammit. why don't more people do that?
ps- 17. pineapple express plz. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 30th, 2008|01:03 am] |
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i need to take more pictures |
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| in conclusion, |
[Jun. 23rd, 2008|03:12 am] |
Life is too short for long pity parties. get busy living, or get busy dying.
What other people think of you is none of your business.
Time heals almost everything. give time time.
Don't take yourself so seriously. no one else does.
&&If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
get lifted. !! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 8th, 2008|10:39 pm] |
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i am a chamber of secrets |
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| no |
[May. 27th, 2008|09:32 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | drained | ] |
on the tails of such a delicately fantastic weekend, such a tragity. i'm really sick of , and the lack of stablity. i'm really sick of this feeling. although it is selfish, sometimes i wonder if i'll ever be able to enjoy being 16, or the rest of my youth, without thinking about what would happen if my mom died? then i would be an orphan, technically. do people realize how real death is? i don't like being so responsible, and knowning how much life begins to suck once you leave high school. i'm not exactly a fan of high school, so what am i counting down my days for? that is a shitty way to live. counting down, ultimately for nothing. how long will i live for? will i die when i'm 50? or 70? or 100? one day i'm going to die, and so are you. one day i will die. there is so much emphasis on our elders, and such, but you my friend, its unfortunate, but you will die too. and i end that with reminding all that superman too had a weakness. so fuck man. fuck.
it rained the day my dad died in los angeles
it rained the day he was barried in new york
it rained the day Vahaug died
and today the weather had an nerving feel. it made you feel aprehensive and anxious.
i'm so sorry. and i'm so sorry for your family. your poor family. it breaks my heart. i wish i could just hold you all in my arms and tell you it will get better. but its been 2 years since my dad died and i'm fucking confused as ever.
death is so final. i hope more people can understand just how lucky they are everyday.
rest in peace bianca khalili. your smile, laughter, and general happy being will never be forgotten in my heart. i know you can feel the endless amounts of love many have expressed for you.
we will all be more careful, and it's such a fucking shame you had to be our example.
shit is just so fucking fucked up. ugh |
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| hookay so |
[Feb. 29th, 2008|10:54 pm] |
I made a new account and forgot my password! figures.
and when i finally went to reset my password and successfully log in after many failed attempts IT WOULDN'T LET ME!
so I will post here. ho hum.
its not fair that you come back into my life and disrupt everything so abruptly! it was all sort of smoooth sailin'
and now its all jumbled up and confused again. I'm smarter now, and I know I can make better choices for myself, but there's that 5% that worries me.
lately things have been shitty wid friendz. I hate dumb people and I hate arguing with them. I know I will never win and they are almost always extremely stubborn and not even willing to hear my point. how GAY. <-- get it?
also, I completely dispise when someone will borrow something of mine and not put it back where they found it (!)
its there for a reason! so when i'm driving i know which groove of my makeup bag has the GOOD, NEW, AND FRESH mascara and not the one that's 5 months old and rediculously clumpy. you fucking penis.
oh oh oh and new drivers. as much as I love not being the one to drive at all times, I have to, just for my blood pressure's sake. ju kno. I think?
LASTLY, i am opposed to all things macdo creates, but the other day i was forced, and by golly, they make one slammin iced coffee. maybe it also had something to do with that I hadn't had any all day and i was feelin a lil loopy? but two thumbs up maynn. shitt |
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